The Biggest Benefits I Experience By Living From My Heart
I never would have thought I would experience such a shift in my life as I have in the past few years through doing healing and inner work. My journey has not been an easy one, there has been pain.. lots of it. Looking back now, much of it makes sense. I understand why I had to go through the experiences I did, because without experiencing the depths of being disconnected from my heart, the questioning, and the misalignment, I wouldn’t have truly been able to find my way back to my heart and to trust in such a powerful way.
I have realized that we live in a world where so many are living a life that is disconnected from their heart and soul, this has become the norm. We’ve been programmed to live in the masculine (which is the thinking mind). We have been taught to live in a state of “constant doing and producing” with very little time left for feeling. The mind is a helpful tool, but when we are operating from it in an imbalanced way, it can cause a plethora of symptoms and impact.
In my case, I learned from a very young age that my mind was the place I would go to look for answers. Although, the truth and trust I was really searching for never came from my mind, no matter how hard I tried.
I grew up with parents and other family members who were doing the very best they could, but were operating from unhealed wounds. I wasn’t modelled true, regulated internal safety and secure attachment. As a child, my place of refuge would be going into my thoughts. From a young age I would overthink everything…This was to my advantage at times but also to my disadvantage many other times.
I came into this world as a very sensitive and deep feeler. I could sense the energy of everyone around me and was very easily able to tune into if they were feeling sad, angry, happy, or joyful. I would internalize the feelings of the people close to me and think that maybe it was my fault if they were feeling down and I made it my responsibility to manage and fix other people’s feelings and emotions, because it made me feel unsafe.
This is where living from my mind became habitual. My thoughts would consume me and sometimes lead my body into an actual state of fight or flight.
“What if….” was the question spiral I would send myself into.
On the outside, many people didn’t know that this is what I was dealing with. I was a highly social, intelligent, high-functioning girl in my childhood years and into my teens and twenties, but in the background I would deal with crippling anxiety and overthinking.
I didn’t realize it then, but I was living completely from my head and disconnected from my heart centre, which I would learn is where trust really lives.
When I hit my lowest point in my healing journey, and what some would call, The Dark Night of the Soul, I started to have to face the parts of myself I had been avoiding for years:
my fears
my shame
my unworthiness
my disconnection
my doubts
I chose to take it all on, I made healing and understanding myself on the deepest level possible my mission. I am happy to say that doing the work has worked. So many experiences I had a few years ago up until the things I practice present day has led me to a place of living my life with a deeper sense of trust and security than I have ever felt before.
It is nowhere near perfect, but for the first time I feel truly connected to who I am and living in more alignment and purpose.
I started living from my heart through the following experiences:
Attending a 10-day silent meditation retreat where I had no choice but to face all the parts of myself I had been avoiding and finally forgive people who have hurt me.
I had a profound heart-opening experience taking plant medicine (psilocybin mushrooms) that completely changed the way I relate to love, energy, and the power of my heart.
I took multiple breath work classes and released years or pent up stress and anxiety that lived in my body.
I consistently use my voice and speak my truth, even if it might mean someone might not like me or agree with me
I practice yoga consistently.
I volunteer and look for ways to be of service.
I learned what my values are in relationships and attracted the most safe and loving relationship I have ever been in.
These are just a few of the things that have taken place on my healing journey that has opened up my heart.
Now here are the biggest benefits I have experienced in taking all of this on and allowing myself to feel.
I have real confidence in the woman I am and the woman I am becoming. For years, I didn’t truly believe I was capable of a truly loving relationship, or that I was deserving of abundance, or that I had something powerful to offer as my purpose. Today, the opposite is all true. I have a real confidence in the woman I am. Not because of how I look, or anything externally - but because of the woman I have built internally. I now know how deserving and worthy I truly am, as are you.
I am way more present to beauty, synchronicities, and miracles in my day to day life. When I live in my heart, I feel gratitude for every day life. The small joys such as the sunshine, the feeling of holding a warm cup of tea, flowers blooming, a healthy meal, and a good night’s sleep mean way more to me than when I was living in survival mode and stuck in my head.
I don’t let other people’s doubts or opinions reflect the truth of who I am. I used to take other people’s opinions to heart in a way that I would be absolutely consumed. Now, I realize that I don’t need to internalize other people’s words, reactions, and emotions and make it mean something about me. Only when it’s necessary, but not if it is simply projection or untrue.
I feel actual contentment and peace. I used to want to be happy all of the time, I now realize that I was bypassing pain and avoiding anything that was uncomfortable. 24/7 happiness is not sustainable or even truly possible. I now feel contentment and peace, even when things are hard, there is more of a deep unwavering trust I have that I never used to before.
I am able to connect with people in a more authentic way. I am not afraid to be myself and own who I am. I also make a conscious effort to allow for other people to express themselves in a way that feels most authentic to them.
Today, instead of rushing through the day and living in a state of dissociation and lack of presence, I consciously make an effort to connect with my heart and inner world. I now know that when I am living from this beautiful space in my heart of openness, trust, unconditional love, and acceptance - I feel it and I know others can feel it too.
Maybe the way to a better world is if all of us could experience what it is like to truly live from our heart.
